Thursday, November 19, 2009

What Have I Gotten Myself Into?

I may or may not have done something totally stupid.

Do any of you get up before dawn on Black Friday to go Christmas shopping? See, I've never done it before because well, in principle (with the exception of getting really, really wicked-good deals) I hate everything about what I imagine that experience to be. Even under the best of conditions, I hate waiting in line. I hate shopping in over-crowded places. I super-hate sitting in traffic and I super super-hate feeling rushed and stressed when I'm trying to do something important. Yes, the sales are enticing but up until this point I've never even remotely desired all of the downsides that go with shopping on the day after Thanksgiving.

Until this year. This year I have somehow managed to find myself slated in to do this whole pre-dawn frenzied shopping spree with Zack's mom. Gulp.

It really started innocently enough I guess. Then again, doesn't it seem like any story that starts out that way does not usually end well? I think this is a tradition his mom has had for years and being the new daughter in the family, this year I got invited. "Sure!" I agreed, when she asked if I wanted to go. "Sounds like fun."

And it did.

At first, I was actually looking forward to it. Maybe I've been wrong about this whole shopping thing and it will be really great; it will definitely be a new experience if nothing else. That's what I told myself. I love to shop and I'm always up for a new experience, so why not? The more I think about it though, the more I'm starting to get really scared. Probably this is an overreaction on my part but I have this mental imagine of getting mauled or maybe trampled to death trying to get in the door at Macy's. How cut-throat do people get about their 50% off big screen TVs and $7 jeans?? Am I in any physical danger here? In my mind I see women fighting over the last of an item on the shelf, beating each other with their purses until one or both lay unconscious on the floor. (You know the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, Jingle All the Way? I'm picturing a scene like that). I see crazed shoppers dashing madly (and blindly) around the mall, knocking over displays and mowing down anyone dumb enough to get in their way. I see myself waiting in line for approximately 47 days to get out of the store once our purchases are know, assuming we survive to that point.

Its scary I tell you! I've committed to go and I'm gonna do it but not without apprehension and not, I've decided, without some sort of full body suit for protection.

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