Thursday, September 23, 2010

I Don't Do Dating

Let's talk about boys for a minute, shall we? Boys and dating and relationships and the utter messiness of it all.

Here's the thing; I've never really been into dating. Like casual dating. Like seeing multiple guys at one time, going out on dates with different boys on different nights of the week, getting to know several different men at once, dating. I've just never done that. (Well ok, there was that one time in college where I might have kinda sorta had two boyfriends at once...but it was really unintentional and flat out exhausting and by the end of it I swore I'd never do that again). And anyway, that only lasted a couple days so I don't think it really even counts. I've always been more of a relationship type of girl. Maybe to a fault, but hey, whatever. Literally, since my senior year of high school I've pretty much gone from one "serious" committed relationship to the next, with not a whole lot of time or dating in between.

In fact, in fact (and I'm just being real honest with you here--cause why wouldn't I be? Say what you will about this, I really don't care) when I moved out in February, I jumped very quickly into a relationship of sorts with another guy. It was easy to justify to myself because we weren't technically "together," we were just really good friends who were going to have dinner...and then go to a movie...and talk to each other a hundred times a get the idea. I told myself that it wasn't a real relationship so it was ok (because even I knew that I needed time to deal with and heal from the marriage and divorce) but in all honesty, it was just another relationship, no matter what name we put on it at the time.

For what it's worth, I liked this guy a lot. A whole lot in fact, and my previous failed relationship notwithstanding, I was pretty much willing to jump in with both feet and not look back.

Unfortunately, at least for the time being, that relationship hasn't worked out and I've decided that it's best if I start trying to move on. It's not at all what I want to do, but at the same time, I kinda figure life's just too short to waste a whole lot of time on something that isn't working. So...even though in a lot of ways i have absolutely zero desire to do this right now, I've decided that maybe, for the first time, I should give the old dating scene a chance.


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