tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49179038601053509872024-03-05T01:42:30.115-06:00Under ConstructionI'm a work in progress and these are my adventures.Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.comBlogger167125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-44204292279392278702011-05-04T21:00:00.002-05:002011-05-04T21:07:42.930-05:00GoldWhen the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful. ~Barbara Bloom<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5f9ytTlaNjF3q4V4VOL2V7F8QytwArldE7BsNhqjvv3zvh3Ldt6KY-8DQwtDhUGXfBh-FepVN0-ObAcFFpgYX3qTMmh7Net0dKflL3Y2QojVUXOM_-GF-HVhl-e3cD9P3GpRfSnieGRM/s1600/Spilled+milk.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5f9ytTlaNjF3q4V4VOL2V7F8QytwArldE7BsNhqjvv3zvh3Ldt6KY-8DQwtDhUGXfBh-FepVN0-ObAcFFpgYX3qTMmh7Net0dKflL3Y2QojVUXOM_-GF-HVhl-e3cD9P3GpRfSnieGRM/s400/Spilled+milk.bmp" /></a></div><br />
I paited this picture last year when things were really bad, right before Zack and I separated. Tonight I went back in and filled the cracks in the cup with gold.Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-40834187490520553492011-02-12T17:18:00.001-06:002011-02-12T17:23:58.845-06:00Pity Party, Table for OneMy parents always taught me that when you start to feel really bad about yourself--when you're sad or lonely or mad or ungrateful...that's the best time to go and do something for someone else. Because as bad as you think you've got it, there is always going to be someone out there who is going through something even harder than whatever it is you think is so wrong in your life. And they are right.<br />
<br />
That said, if you ever want to host a pity party for yourself, call me. Seriously. I may be the world's expert on feeling sorry for yourself at this point and can give you the hook up; I'll let you in on all the tricks of the trade. I've been having one for myself for the past year or so now, I'm I've gotten really, really good at it.<br />
<br />
That's the truth, people.<br />
<br />
I moved out one year ago this month and since that time I've done more crying and wallowing and reminiscing and obsessing and <i>pitying</i> than I care to admit. And yeah, its probably normal and part of the healing process...blah blah blah--I get that and I'm thankful that I had supportive family and friends who put up with it...but frankly, I'm also getting really sick of it. I'm sick of <i>myself</i>, and I'm sick of feeling sad and lonely and lost most of the time. Because for the past year that's what I've spent the majority of my time feeling and you know what? It's not really any fun at all and furthermore, what purpose is it serving? It's not. I think it was for awhile because its normal and healthy to grieve. But there also comes a point where you just have to look at yourself and say, "Self, yeah that was bad but you lived through it and its time to put your big girl pants on and move forward."<br />
<br />
When I moved to the Republic of Texas I looked at it as a bit of a second chance. A fresh start and a clean slate. New job, new house, new city, new car, new people, new relationships, etc. I made myself a couple of promises too. Not New Year's resoluations per se, but just things that I really wanted to make happen in my life, because I thought they they were good things and they were important to me. One of the main ones was that I really want to do more for other people. I want to spend my time and my money in ways that will benefit someone else, or will help promote some good, somewhere. For the past year I've spent all of my time and money very selfishly; I spent it on things that made me feel good right then. I used my resources like drugs. I needed a quick fix--new shoes, getting my nails done, going out to dinner for no reason--every time I started to feel the least little bit down, because those things gave me a momentary high and kept me from having to think too much about or feel too much of the hard stuff. Because, you know, God forbid I experience even a moment of discomfort. I mean, yeah I'm devastated about the divorce and then the following breakups, I hate my job and I'm really, really lonely...but have you seen my new shoes?<br />
<br />
So yes, in the past couple months I've been trying really dilligently to <i>not</i> continue living that way.<br />
<br />
This morning I got up (which is, in and of itself a blessing because how many people did not wake up this morning at all?), got out of my queen-sized cherry-wood sleigh bed with a pillow-top mattress and used my own personal bathroom with running water and indoor plumbing. I went to the kitchen where I had a pantry full of cereal options, then came to check my e-mail on my fancy-smanzy laptop. I did a l oad of laundry in my own washer and dryer then got dressed and went out to my plush brand new Jeep complete with leather interior and heated seats. <br />
<br />
Then I drove downtown to the Beacon Outreach Center, where I helped served lunch to approximately 700 homeless people.<br />
<br />
After that, you know what I did? I got back in my fancy ride and drove back over to the "nice" part of town, to my ridiculously over-priced apartment. I grabbed Lucy Sparkle and took her to be"groomed," because I am fortunate enough to be able to aford to spend more on getting my dog's hair cut than some people will make in a week.<br />
<br />
I'm not telling you this to brag about what I have, I promise. I am so fortunate and have been so blessed in so many areas of my life I have no right to ever complain or be ungrateful. I tell you this because I've started to realize that perhaps my biggest failure in the past year is not that I shed more tears than I wanted to, or let myself get caught up in self-pity, or repeated bad relationship habits over and over again; I think those things are all normal and to some extent were to be expected. But the one thing I am very guilty of and feel most disgusted with myself about is the fact that I've spent the past year focusing on the one or two things in my life that I didn't have, instead of being thankful for the thousands upon thousands of blessings that are staring my in the face every single day.<br />
<br />
I've been serving meals for the past few weekends and every time I go, I am reminded again just how amazing my life really is. I've spent the past six months beating myself up and bemoaning the fact that one stupid boy (in a world of six billion people) doesn't worship the ground I walk on when there are people out there dealing with <i>real</i> problems. I feel like I need someone to hit me in the face and say, "You think you've got it so rough? At least you have both legs and both arms. At least you have a place to come home to each night. You have a job and a house and a bed to sleep in. You have a family who loves you and the best friends anyone could ask for."<br />
<br />
So there you have it. The truth is that instead of being thankful I have been selfish and depressed and whiny. Shame on me.Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-84992476070842916502011-01-23T09:40:00.000-06:002011-01-23T09:40:53.096-06:00The Edge"Come to the edge."<br />
"We can't, we're afraid."<br />
"Come to the edge."<br />
"We can't, we might fall."<br />
"Come to the edge."<br />
And they came.<br />
And he pushed them.<br />
And they flew.<br />
<br />
--<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_N__KozwlCK8QUqKg5faVPN_XxFJu8-3kw5UeCc_CKuZK1DfE1MtB13SRFL6F1PfLCA6ibraIMo5d3jueMYtE76GNbtsvJWXQVAK1ihKLLWsPNLlz4rZwU2sjoMeT5IP9YuRHtVMaRI4/s1600/3812729302_7c02033642.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_N__KozwlCK8QUqKg5faVPN_XxFJu8-3kw5UeCc_CKuZK1DfE1MtB13SRFL6F1PfLCA6ibraIMo5d3jueMYtE76GNbtsvJWXQVAK1ihKLLWsPNLlz4rZwU2sjoMeT5IP9YuRHtVMaRI4/s400/3812729302_7c02033642.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Guillaume ApollinaireLaurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-58341660428428360882011-01-19T20:41:00.004-06:002011-01-19T20:46:55.495-06:00My Second Home Afterall<b><i>"How lucky I am to have found something that makes saying good-bye so hard."</i> <br />
</b><br />
I moved to New Orleans <strike>grudgingly</strike> kicking and screaming. No, for real. The night before we moved down here two summers ago I literally fell apart and had one of those hysterical crying outbursts that come from months of pent up emotion finally getting out. Embarrassing really...glad no one actually saw it. I was scared to move to New Orleans frankly, and I did not want to go. At that point had I been given the choice between moving to the Big Easy and cutting off a limb, I would have gladly opted for amputation because God knows I was just going to move down there and get raped and mugged and killed. You think I'm exaggerating and being dramatic but y'all, I did not want any part of anything that city had to offer. <br />
<br />
In hindsight I don't even remember specifically what it was I was so afraid of. Maybe it was just a fear of the unknown, and a fear of moving to a place that was so vastly different from everything I had ever known before, I dunno. Whatever it was, I am ashamed of myself for those feelings now because in the year and a half I spent there, I came to love that dysfunctional little sweatbox like you wouldn't believe. I swore that I would never let myself feel totally comfortable in NOLA, and that I'd eat dirt and die before I called it "home," but by golly...I'm starting to think that despite my best efforts, I failed miserably at both. I left when I did because I knew that for this time in my life I had to go. I know I made the right choice for right now. But man do I miss it. Maybe it's not my forever home and I know that for lots of reasons it can't be my right now home, but for the rest of my life I think I'm always going to have a place in my heart for New Orleans and if one day it ends up that I'm supposed to go back there, well, I do believe that'd be just fine with me. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyxf7f1NEw4lbP9N9QF0uT1EeohFA1TbwwT0uOylPcXimulwSx3ODPsFP4Hqkrm_as6Jf0yWEDKjR5KI51k1w0jQZPCrzlwuDhYiZYthlhX4IY3_GktAe52srF5UfRgMUxlfk5tr7I5Fs/s1600/148211_894734642570_12902579_46255270_1635132_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyxf7f1NEw4lbP9N9QF0uT1EeohFA1TbwwT0uOylPcXimulwSx3ODPsFP4Hqkrm_as6Jf0yWEDKjR5KI51k1w0jQZPCrzlwuDhYiZYthlhX4IY3_GktAe52srF5UfRgMUxlfk5tr7I5Fs/s400/148211_894734642570_12902579_46255270_1635132_n.jpg" /></a></div>All the girls with Jack from Jacques-Imo's, right before we drug him out into the street for a group hug.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6QGglzOzBNE3B2kfVI5iHoZlird2p9gBcMVHGZNzuZKl3iVAIhYwYm6-Y7tBS3-GCVdiGrnLbV7xyuElRVV00SkAnqsyOUZm-lYmoUH9ngqHcghu4begZLIouUcPcOvQ6GvCA6byijhY/s1600/164850_10100423111797413_5241001_65864168_6029444_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6QGglzOzBNE3B2kfVI5iHoZlird2p9gBcMVHGZNzuZKl3iVAIhYwYm6-Y7tBS3-GCVdiGrnLbV7xyuElRVV00SkAnqsyOUZm-lYmoUH9ngqHcghu4begZLIouUcPcOvQ6GvCA6byijhY/s400/164850_10100423111797413_5241001_65864168_6029444_n.jpg" /></a></div>I love these people.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOwf1YfFawzLSemvam2jl7DhriQvt4u5J4oGsb-R9Z6EN4NmH6IxG87AMVROwb3Ddo7f2LYOl_GPPu8UZpice96dpJM40B39gA8JXqMm1y-9wg3cyxqHMnbu6Me66wtK6rSJTwuxN-WCI/s1600/169767_10150351899650591_215542015590_16250764_3984437_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOwf1YfFawzLSemvam2jl7DhriQvt4u5J4oGsb-R9Z6EN4NmH6IxG87AMVROwb3Ddo7f2LYOl_GPPu8UZpice96dpJM40B39gA8JXqMm1y-9wg3cyxqHMnbu6Me66wtK6rSJTwuxN-WCI/s400/169767_10150351899650591_215542015590_16250764_3984437_o.jpg" /></a></div>Jonnie Chonga and I with the gold girls at the Bye Bye Hurricane Season Party. I still do not understand the significance of the gold body paint...but whatever.<br />
<br />
My last few weeks in town are really a blur of insanity and exhaustion and fun and tears and some of the best memories of my life. I made a list of the things I wanted to do before I left town, the places I wanted to go and the restaurants at which I wanted to eat one last time and I accomplished just about all of them. I made it my goal to enjoy every single day and to make the most of the time I had left there; to do my best to really appreciate New Orleans for all that it is. Where else but NOLA could I have gone to a "Bye Bye Hurricane Season" party to help raise money to fund public evacuation for those who cannot afford to leave the city on their own? I'm telling you, this city will take any excuse to throw a party and run with it. I actually got onstage and sang karaoke at another fund-raiser (and let me make it very clear that I never, ever sing on-stage. Ever) because...why not? I may never have an opportunity like that again and I wanted to make the most of it. I helped plan and host one of the best triple birthday parties in the history of creation. I, along with some of my very best friends, went to dinner together on one of my last evenings in town and not only did we meet the head chef (who is famous in his own right there) but we took him outside and cinnamon roll hugged him in the street. That's right people--we cinnamon roll hugged Jack, of Jacques-Imo's fame! I'm pretty sure that makes me one of the five coolest people I know now. I laid on the living room floor and stared up at the Christmas tree with the girls who are now like my family and talked about life and love and the future. We laid there for hours, literally, staring up at that tree and talking. We laughed and we cried and we promised ourselves that no matter what, we'll never forget the moments like this. And we won't.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMp9VLSWc2-d-rl5epDe2Z28zOJOA44HjxSdH0OvCmByTIdsDIozn43kvznLViWvl8vAF5ByIOEH_zjlzLKZWGw9hW2EBuwobRXZOk6bgEPNRZNUefsND5Fs-WlcEsOK86RJ75Bi34eWQ/s1600/76387_10100390237228340_7946546_66169873_4008646_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMp9VLSWc2-d-rl5epDe2Z28zOJOA44HjxSdH0OvCmByTIdsDIozn43kvznLViWvl8vAF5ByIOEH_zjlzLKZWGw9hW2EBuwobRXZOk6bgEPNRZNUefsND5Fs-WlcEsOK86RJ75Bi34eWQ/s400/76387_10100390237228340_7946546_66169873_4008646_n.jpg" /></a></div>Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-73357064151978883582011-01-19T20:21:00.000-06:002011-01-19T20:21:36.152-06:00I am, in fact, aliveI live!!!!! <br />
<br />
And by that I mean, I am alive! <br />
<br />
Not that you'd know it based on anything I've written recently since it's been, what, like almost two months now? I know, I know, I pretty much just disappeared off the face of the earth. I apologize, but I've been a little busy ok? Gah. Get off my back, yo. I kid. <br />
<br />
What have I been busy doing? Well...what <i>haven't</i> I been busy doing is probably a better question. Basically, if you take what my life looked like this time three months ago and compare it to now, NOTHING is the same. Well maybe a few things, but there have been some big time changes, lemme tell ya. New job, new car, new apartment, new city, new friends, still working on a new church, new routines...you get the idea. I moved to Houston right after Christmas and started my new job on January 3. I haven't written about any of that yet because its one of those things that has been so overwhelming that I didn't really know where to start. Nor did I have time to sit down and write it all out for that matter. But now that the dust is finally settling, I'm finally starting to find a bit of a routine again, maybe I will be able to write once in awhile. That's the goal anyway...we'll see how it goes. <br />
<br />
So...if I were going to give you a recap of the past couple months, where would be the best place to start? And don't say, "At the beginning," because I don't even really know where the beginning is anymore. I guess I ought to back it up and tell you about my last couple weeks in New Orleans because oh what a time it was...Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-26855607586222231462010-12-13T12:31:00.000-06:002010-12-13T12:31:36.949-06:00Get it Together, L$I think its about time for me to put my big girl pants on and deal. It's time for me to suck it up, get my game face on, and get ready to start the next big adventure of my life. I'm excited. I really am. But...I'm also a wee little bit scared.<br />
<br />
<i>(And by wee little bit scared what I mean is, I'm darn close to being too paralyzed with fear to get out of bed in the morning). <i>Shhhh...</i></i><br />
<br />
This is my last week at work which is both bittersweet and surreal. Can't even believe it. There have been days that seemed to last for three years and times when I was banging my head against the wall out of boredom and frustration, but by and large, the past year and a half has flown by. I don't even know that it has entirely sunk into my little brain yet that I really and truly am going to leave this place.<br />
<br />
The past two weeks or so have been a freakin' emotional roller coaster for me (ok who am I kidding...that statement really applies to the past two years of my life, if we're being honest here). I alternate between being super excited about the new job/new city/adventureness of it all, being petrified to the point of asking myself if I'm sure I'm making the right decision and just wanting to hide under my bed until June, and being sad to leave such good people, yet resigned to do this thing. Am I a wreck or what? (The correct answer is yes, yes I am).<br />
<br />
I think what it all comes down to is that this is just a really big change. Maybe the biggest life change I have experienced to date even, (I'll get back to you on that) but a change for sure. At this point I think I dont even know for sure if this is a good change, or the right change, a temporary change or a permanent one...at this point it's still just change. And change is scary.<br />
<br />
All I really know for sure at this point is that I am finally <i>moving</i>. Both literally and figuratively. I hope I'm moving forward but even if I'm not, at least I'm no longer standing still either. I'm sad to leave my friends here, but I know that I can't stay and keep doing what I've been doing (on a number of levels), so its time for me to go. What it ultimately comes down to is that I've finally started to realize that there's sometimes a difference between what I want and what is right. Staying in NOLA would be easy now. I have friends, I know my way around as well as anyone, I've got a job, etc. It's comfortable and its easy. Even when I'm bored out of my mind at work there's a comfort to having a routine, to seeing the same people every day, and to the relationships I've developed here. But that doesn't make any of it right. I have too much yet to do with my life that I know I cannot accomplish from where I am right now. I see so many people who seem to me as though they have essentially given up; they'd rather stay in a situation, even when its bad, because they're too afraid to risk the discomfort of change. I don't ever want to be that. I hope I never reach a point where I let fear be the determining factor in what I choose for myself.<br />
<br />
So...I'm going. It wont be easy at all, and between now and then I'd imagine I'll shed no small number of tears for all that I'm leaving here. I'm going knowing that there will definitely be tough days ahead, probably days when I feel lonely, days when I'm scared, and days when I really do just want to come running back to the feeling of security I have finally started to develop in NOLA. But I also know I can't do that. And I won't. I know that tough as it may be, this is what I have to do right now.Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-3439487094254906292010-12-10T15:06:00.000-06:002010-12-10T15:06:00.549-06:00Sometimes technology, I really hate youNo, really. I'll be the first to admit that my phone is more like another bodily appendage than a piece of hardware and that I'm not sure how I would function without the internet and my ipod and my blackberry. Seriously, I'm so dependant at this point that I'd probably just curl up in a corner and die without them. That said, some days I kinda just want to throw the stupid phone at the wall and never look back.<br />
<br />
So the other day, everything I own decided to break at the same time. Bless her heart, I think my poor jeep is on its last leg and I'm just crossing my fingers that she'll last a little while longer until I can buy a new vehicle. The battery died on me this past week, so I had AAA come to my office to jump start the engine (in the parking garage, mind you). The guy was cool and offered to clean my battery connectors for me, since apparently they were in "God awful shape," and being one to never pass up a free offer, I agreed to let him. It went well until he was trying to put them back on and tighten them and one snapped apart in his hands. Fantastic. So then I got to go on an adventure with the AAA guy to buy new connectors. I guess its not all bad--if they were in that bad of shape they probably just needed to be replaced anyway.<br />
<br />
Well, while all of this is going on (because nothing says "fun afternoon" like being stranded with a dead car and <i>also</i> a cell phone that doesn't work), my cell phone decides to spontaneuously combust. And by combust I mean die. It froze up and the only button that would work at all was the "T" which isn't horribly helpful, you know? So after I finally got the jeep running agin, I then got to drive out to the AT&T service store and wait around for an hour for them to determine that the refurbished phone they gave me three weeks ago when I was there for the same problem, was in fact broken beyond repair. I am now on my 3rd phone. <br />
<br />
Last but not least, the heater in my apartment went out yesterday while I was at work. Guess who slept in sweat pants, under armour and wool socks last night...?Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-74646089751515972302010-12-09T16:15:00.002-06:002010-12-09T16:15:49.961-06:00Crossing the Line<b>I have too much to lose, she said, if I cross that line. Like what? I said. She could not think of anything that day so she said she'd get back to me. Since then I've been thinking what I would lose if I cross my line & I haven't come up with anything either. There's always another line somewhere.<br />
</b><br />
<i>(Forwarded to me from my dear friend Jonnie. I can't take credit for this. I'm not even entirely sure I understand it yet...but I like it).</i>Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-413286323354257452010-12-07T08:51:00.001-06:002010-12-07T11:01:30.301-06:00Only In New Orleans, BabyOn my flight home to Kentucky last week for Thanksgiving, I ended up sitting next to (what turned out to be) a very, <i>very</i> strange woman. She was nice enough, but--and I say this with all the love in the world...sorta--it was a solid reminder that there are all kinds of people out there and some of them are just nutcases. Straight up "I'm-on-a-day-pass-from-the-asylum crazy. No two ways about it. Anywho, she was asking me all about New Orleans; has it come back since Katrina? How much of the media coverage was accurate? What's it really like to live here? In talking to her I really started to think about this city that has become my adopted home and as such, have decided to make a list, to pay tribute if you will, to all of the wonderful, unique and frankly really weird things about this place. Here goes:<br />
<br />
Only in New Orleans is "I got caught in a second line" a totally valid and legit excuse for being late to work. (Yes, this really happens).<br />
<br />
Only in New Orleans can you attend the Annual National Pirate Convention each April. (Though let it be noted that it is still completely acceptable to dress in full pirate garb year round. We do not limit this priviledge to just one weekend per year).<br />
<br />
Only in New Orleans can I see a woman out for her daily jog at 9:30 on a Sunday morning carrying a beer in one hand and a bag of potato chips in the other. I mean, maybe she needed a snack along the way?<br />
<br />
Only in New Orleans can one eat beignets and drink cafe au lait at 4:00 a.m. after a night of debauchery in the French Quarter.<br />
<br />
Only in New Orleans does the <i>entire</i> city shut down for the better part of two weeks to party for Mardi Gras.<br />
<br />
Only in New Orleans is a complete stranger "Honey" or "Baby" or "My Love." Oh and--shaking hands? Yeah I haven't done that since I've lived here. It's a foreign concept to these people. In New Orleans you greet people with a hug and a kiss, always. It kinda freaked me out at first, not gonna lie, but now when I meet people and they <i>only</i> want to shake my hand I'm mildly offended.<br />
<br />
Only in New Orleans did I literally jar my car battery loose over the course of normal, everyday driving on the streets here. How sad is that?<br />
<br />
Only in New Orleans can yer mom an' dem go make groceries. <br />
<br />
Only in New Orleans is, "Who dat?" followed by "Who dat!" a complete conversation.<br />
<br />
Only in New Orleans have I had some of the most incredible experiences of my life. Maybe it hasn't all been sunshine and rainbows for me here, but I'm gonna miss this place.Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-53502766492924870202010-11-16T15:26:00.002-06:002010-11-16T15:48:29.926-06:00Remember that time I wasn't thankful enough for what I had?<strong>Since Thanksgiving is next week (holy fast-year Batman, where have the past 11 months gone?) this is an appropriate post I think.<br /><br />Having accepted this new job has really given me a fresh perspective on my current job. Funny how a bad situation suddenly seems soooo much less overwhelming when you know you finally have an out, huh? And honestly, "bad situation" is a bit harsh, and probably pretty unfair...that's my point in all of this.<br /><br />Over the past few months I've grown increasingly um...<em>frustrated</em> with my job. I knew when I took it that I was over-qualified and likely would not have the level of mental stimulation that I hoped for, but desperate times call for desperate measures and a girl's gotta eat and pay her bills, so I took it. And let's be honest--it's not like people were exactly banging down the door to hire me last summer either. Thanks, recession. So even though I sort of knew what I was getting myself into, I've had no shortage of complaints about how bored I was, how frustrated I was, how ready to jump off the roof of the hospital I was, over the past few months. And now I feel sorta guilty about that.<br /><br />It's weird. Now that I know my time here is coming to an end, I realize how thankful I should be for the job I have. As far as first jobs go, this really wasn't a bad one at all. My boss has been nice to me, by and large I've enjoyed the people I've worked with and I've learned a lot. Maybe it wasn't the high-level, analytical job I thought I'd have, and certainly i wasn't getting paid what vain-Lauren thinks she's worth, but that doesn't mean the past year has been a waste. Far from it. And if <em>nothing</em> else, if the only thing I take away from this job is the knowledge that I'm not too good to do anything and that even the lowest man on the proverbial totem pole can teach me something...then I'd say those are lessons I'd be well served to remember forever.<br /><br />I really do feel guilty for being so ungrateful. Maybe this isn't my dream job, but you know, at least I <em>have</em> a job--so many people out there aren't so fortunate. And yeah, maybe I'm not making tons of money but I'm making plenty to survive and far more than many people will ever make. I've met people through this job who have, quite literally changed my life (in both positive and negative ways probably, but nonetheless, they've helped shape who I am and am becoming). I've seen enough to have at least a little bit better idea of what I want, and don't want in a career and I've gotten a taste of the satisfaction I feel when I'm succeeding and doing well at something.<br /><br />And those are all things I should be thankful for.</strong>Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-11518224863937390362010-11-11T20:36:00.002-06:002010-11-11T22:17:49.006-06:00Maybe It's Time to GoI'm sitting on my couch with Lucy Sparkle. I'm listening to hymns (yes hymns) on youtube. And I'm thinking. I have a lot to think about these days and I've found that there's no one better to soul search with than my dog and Jesus, so that's what I'm doing.<br /><br />I'm thinking about the past year or so of my life; the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, all the lessons I've learned and all that I still have to be thankful for. I'm thinking about how I wouldn't wish the last year of my life on even my worst enemy, but how thankful I am for the the experiences I've lived through (even the bad ones) because I think I'm a better person than I was this time last year in a lot of ways.<br /><br />I've learned what it means to really mourn a loss and to survive the grieving process. And it really and truly is a<em> process</em>. I think when I moved out in February I thought that I'd be sad and angry and hurt for awhile but that probably I'd just wake up one morning and be fine. As though a switch was flipped somewhere while I slept and the way I felt yesterday would be gone forever. Silly me. It doesn't work that way at all. The truth is that there have been some days where my job was the only thing that got me out of bed in the morning. There have been days when the emotional pain was so palpable that not only did I feel physically ill, but I would have sworn that my heart was indeed breaking into pieces in my chest. There have been nights that I've soaked my pillow with tears from crying myself to sleep, and then woken up with my eyes almost dried shut but still crying. You'd think the human body would reach a point where it would just run out of tears...but it doesn't. Or at least mine hasn't. There have been times when I I've cried myself out and I start to think that maybe, finally, I've gotten all the hurt out and that I'll never shed another tear as long as I live because I've used all mine up. But the real truth is that even now, almost a year later, there are still days from time to time where the hurt just hits me out of no where and before I know it, for no good reason at all, I'm huddled in a corner in my house sobbing my eyes out. These days don't happen as often as they did in the beginning, thank God, but that's what they mean by it being a process. The hurt doesn't just end one day. You don't wake up one morning ready to just put the past behind you and never look back. You just gradually move on with your life, one step at a time, until eventually there are more happy days than sad, more laughing than crying, more looking forward with hope than looking back with despair and you can finally start to believe that yes, this too shall pass and life will go on and you will be ok.<br /><br />In this past year I've learned what it means to be a friend, a real friend, and to love people unconditionally; not because of what they do for you, or what they give you, or even (some days) how they treat you but rather just because of who they are. I've learned that there is good and bad in all of us and that my job is not to judge that, or try to fix that, but just to accept everyone I meet for who they are and do my best to be as good to them as I can be while I have the chance. I've learned that sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is just to <em>be there</em>. Not to try to fix anything, not to even pretend to understand, but just to sit down quite literally in the middle of the floor and cry while they cry and say, "You know what, this really sucks and I am sorry. I can't do anything to make it better but I am here and I'm not going anywhere." I am lucky enough to have friends like that.<br /><br />In the past year I have learned that sometimes, no matter how much or how loudly I scream at God, things just aren't going to happen the way I think they should. And on that note, I think it's ok sometimes to get mad at God you know? And even to tell Him that we're mad at Him, because we're human and we don't have the capacity to even begin to comprehend His bigger plan. I think He realizes that, and loves and forgives us even when we doubt.<br /><br />So I've been doing a lot of thinking and now a lot of rambling, because I've had a huge decision fall into my lap that had to be made and I've spent no small amount of time trying to be sure that I did the right thing. I've been dissatisfied with my job for awhile now, for a lot of reasons that I won't go into, but enough so that it has started to bleed over and make me miserable in my daily life even outside the office. I'm thankful to have a job, believe me, but it would be nice to get some sort of pleasure and satisfaction out of what I do. I mean, I don't think I'm asking for too much here.<br /><br />This has all happened extremely quickly (and I'll spare you all the details) but the bottom line is that I was offered a new job last week. From the sounds of things its a great opportunity. It's going to be a huge step up for me, both in pay and responsibility and its with a company that has tons of room for me to grow and move up quickly. And the best part? They <em>want</em> me. They seem to see potential for big things, and they're willing to take a chance, to pay me probably far more than what I'm really worth at this point, and give me the opportunity to really push myself for the first time in, well, maybe ever. This job though? It's in Houston. As in, Texas. As in "too small to be its own country, too big to be an insane asylum, Texas.<br /><br />So even though my current job doesn't in any way "do it" for me, and even though New Orleans was just about the last place on the face of the earth that I wanted to be this time last year, and even though I hate the climate here and have had just some miserable experiences and should have every reason in the world to want to get the heck out of dodge...I don't. I don't feel that way at all. Despite everything, I've come to love this dysfunctional little sweatbox and leaving isn't going to be nearly as easy as you might think. I have amazing friends here, an amazing church, and I've come to feel very comfortable and almost at home in NOLA. Almost.<br /><br />But. <br /><br />I have to go. I've thought about it a lot and I know that I'm making the right choice. As much as I do like it here now, I know that this isn't where I'm supposed to end up. It's not even where I want to end up and the longer I stay, the more i fear ending up in a rut and never being able to escape. Because I've learned that just because something's comfortable, or easy, that doesn't make it <em>right</em>. And New Orleans is great, but its not right for me. I think that it was right for a time; I think that maybe there's no better place in the whole world to mourn than this broken city. They say that misery loves company and I think that the people here, even though you might never see it on the surface, lost something in Katrina that they never got back. I don't know how to explain it really, other than to say that if you need to grieve, and you need to mourn and frankly just sort of lose yourself for a little while, this is the place to do it. Even the happiness here is tinged by loss and while there is a comfort in that, I'm not ready to give up on all the good in life just yet.<br /><br />I did that, grieved and mourned and let myself get caught up in the city a little bit for no reason other than to numb the pain, and I don't regret it. Truthfully, I know I have lost a little bit of myself in the past year and I think I'm finally ready to get it back. I'm ready to be me again, to feel whole and happy and content, and I just don't think I can do that here. I'm not sure I like everything about the person I see myself becoming if I stay in New Orleans, and I don't want to take that chance. I don't know if the Republic of Texas will be my forever home either, but I do think this is the best thing I could be doing for myself at this point in my life and for now, that is enough.Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-60704011214766856552010-11-05T20:52:00.002-05:002010-11-06T16:47:39.805-05:00He Knows My NameI have a maker <br />He formed my heart, <br />before even time began <br />My life was in his hands <br /><br />He knows my name <br />He knows my every thought, <br />He sees each tear that falls <br />and hears me when I call <br /><br />I have a father, <br />he calls me his own <br />He'll never leave me, <br />no matter where I go <br /><br />He knows my name <br />He knows my every thought <br />He sees each tear that falls <br />and hears me when I call.Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-51763304940634587222010-10-21T12:11:00.002-05:002010-10-21T12:56:05.854-05:00The Next Big ThingI think I'm in a rut. Or a slump. Or maybe just a really bad mood that has now lasted for several days. Whatever it is, I know the cause of it but it still makes me mad at myself for letting it get to me when I have so much else going on that I ought to be thankful for.<br /><br />I realized the other day that for the first time in quite possibly my entire life I'm not working towards something big. I'm not preparing for the "next big thing." I don't have a goal in mind that I'm focused on achieving. For the first time, maybe ever, I'm just sort of <em>living</em>. <em>Surviving</em>. <em>Existing</em> from one day to the next. Growing up there was always something I was working towards--the next grade level up...moving from middle school to high school...getting my driver's license...applying to college...going to college. Then it was finishing college...finishing graduate school...getting married...finding a job...moving. For the most part I've always been so busy looking ahead that I never had time to sit back and think much about the day to dayness of it all.<br /><br />Then I take a look at my life right now and I realize I'm in a dead-end job that's going nowhere, I'm not in any type of relationship (serious and committed or otherwise) that is moving in any type of direction, I don't even have anything big that I'm working on in my personal life outside of work. I mean, I'm having fun and I'm not unhappy per se, but I don't feel much sense of purpose or direction right now, and frankly, that makes me sad. Sad and frustrated actually, because I like having a plan and a goal and something to look forward to. (And for the record, I'm not complaining about this, or looking for sympathy at all. I'm mostly just reflecting).<br /><br />So I brought this up at family dinner night last night so that I could take advantage of the wisdom of some of my wonderful friends. I told them about this feeling I have of just existing right now. Of living day to day and of not having something big going on to look forward to. We talked about it a lot. We talked about what it means to be content vs. settling for less. We talked about what it means to be patient, and to trust that there is a bigger plan. We talked about how frustrating it is when it feels as though nothing is going your way, but how ultimately, things always tend to work themselves out for the best in the end.<br /><br />I thought a lot about what they said and I started to ask myself, what's so wrong with just living life day to day sometimes? What's wrong with surviving? What is so bad about not always having something big coming up, not always having "the next big thing" on the horizon? My friend Amy pointed out that in America, we have come to expect to always be comfortable, to always be happy and to always be content. We are so averse to any type of discomfort, anything that we find the least little bit unpleasant, that we end up basically wishing our lives away by looking for the next big thing to come along. We get so focused on what we need to attain somewhere down the road in order to make us happy, that we completely miss out on the happiness that comes just from being alive and living every day. That's pretty humbling for me because I know I am very guilty of it.<br /><br />Amy also pointed out that sometimes its GOOD to not have something we have to be working towards, because that gives us the opportunity to take our time and pick something that <em>really</em> matters to us, something that we choose to focus on, as opposed to things that we do just because they seem like the natural next step.<br /><br />So! I made myself a goal that I'm going to do my darndest to stick to (which should be easy since I don't exactly have a lot else vying for my attention these days). My goal is to do my best to live in the here and now. I want to get to a point where I can be content, if not happy, about my current situation and circumstances. No, this isn't what I want forever and I'm still doing everything I can to search for new jobs and that sort of thing, but until the "next big thing" comes along, I want to be able to find some joy in every day. I don't want to wish my life away waiting for whatever comes next and end up missing out on all the good of right now.Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-63542353051456305172010-10-19T11:21:00.005-05:002010-10-21T19:51:50.619-05:00Your Butt's on Fire!!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOkMT_PN9D6Bk9womP9CjwnY6RGFvELkOAe1FKq33niz3pBAvzBfv7Copb6yNkBlJzz6t2mSRvXv_-K1qWpHv_nFiKhLX3LqfzAANFEr0j8ITEkgNGnVkrSR2AyD1EtzhEQ2vp4dLQVPs/s1600/kentucky.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOkMT_PN9D6Bk9womP9CjwnY6RGFvELkOAe1FKq33niz3pBAvzBfv7Copb6yNkBlJzz6t2mSRvXv_-K1qWpHv_nFiKhLX3LqfzAANFEr0j8ITEkgNGnVkrSR2AyD1EtzhEQ2vp4dLQVPs/s400/kentucky.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5530666656090081330" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizPT1sYQPpp_0C6mw3P66OBqcYYRe3crmCEkNLU67CP9tQg4fMgVWSeCU71rm0ZZASHGwf69v-ZLy_9DyGyBuI8FT9moRYkP2ZI2BbFe-T42SYRkbmWQnH3ZZaE8GnXFGRJj4_XIgk1yQ/s1600/van.jpg"><img style="display:block; 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margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCd_Rg2DFVz3wIxLKQn5cCpK6jqPoYhEX1ia4tqgU-JuqqqcrAwc30hreZ4yLJaOfn9TlUOukobdOLAKZ6dP2TwjsCkEYgacR4ZDPLue98Q2gwvtOw-deeMEA6y_0BBGxkwOE0LBsiQLM/s400/porch.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5530666348213513058" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu9OtrL3Jukygr5mgLvjiIx2BzJyuFw9NFUKQgBs13juiCoGjvDyNehqY5itTTVUIuBJuEeMD-vCMsJt5H7AghL7dlc1yZuZ4JNNXoLRGXCNzQVRNZw56-NYMg0hS-LBD9vXGxHBQ-hzw/s1600/kentucky+sign.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu9OtrL3Jukygr5mgLvjiIx2BzJyuFw9NFUKQgBs13juiCoGjvDyNehqY5itTTVUIuBJuEeMD-vCMsJt5H7AghL7dlc1yZuZ4JNNXoLRGXCNzQVRNZw56-NYMg0hS-LBD9vXGxHBQ-hzw/s400/kentucky+sign.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5530666339985433170" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaw0oDcAMPJ810oR6UYtuzSV5bkgQqI77Kw6kbN1Bw8ZjfSfSjvfPQD9RrotVMkc-cbaWNQRdxJ4-1GG9thzAH71AyBRiwlddYa77EZZbkRrFDiNs0zu0MtTLQgABefqj_rL2VsLNooGA/s1600/jumping.jpg"><img style="display:block; 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margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjY1FTZoKZBJl-Blq1mXodxOpInoNkx_R3UtZvVCrh4BYhuJSxBkGjSTmdtCP_JKgRJxYiPemE5T4rspO5q4wDYVDTiEOTr1T69oE4IddJLoHcTHQdkx4td32tAUV7ccIKy9C94g-6a_4/s400/standing.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5530665980111904594" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1JEQ08e8sjf51zq_bFtTM4gdfmw10JpqlXB9SUiJMQ4qJI8EDlzwBlTeBvECjErwBaSLPZJWUFPwUlNv5kDzV4dTPB8VRFLV9zly213D3UvaiIG74MALN_skSm73eyBGXWQn8-G54anU/s1600/backs.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1JEQ08e8sjf51zq_bFtTM4gdfmw10JpqlXB9SUiJMQ4qJI8EDlzwBlTeBvECjErwBaSLPZJWUFPwUlNv5kDzV4dTPB8VRFLV9zly213D3UvaiIG74MALN_skSm73eyBGXWQn8-G54anU/s400/backs.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5530665967601833410" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRWjvnnFCP6KLTmYE_AywXtcMiadiPkbWKqij1fnK2rVzgVBEiOMqPqw4netnAFRI4qBIfc_xo3pxUDfVLb8BfLd7ktFAkNY_94hGCT4LlPELW-723-V9MS2_MVmWv4ZyUjxrs-BOPagY/s1600/riding+with+dad.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 328px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRWjvnnFCP6KLTmYE_AywXtcMiadiPkbWKqij1fnK2rVzgVBEiOMqPqw4netnAFRI4qBIfc_xo3pxUDfVLb8BfLd7ktFAkNY_94hGCT4LlPELW-723-V9MS2_MVmWv4ZyUjxrs-BOPagY/s400/riding+with+dad.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5530665971477899458" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnTiAoI__5Vr1ZDbNTnJHTG2EmOzCSTFYDR660BeKZ53mjO74-oLHtFK0ZtL-3zB4YWyMLC-D8Eo5zuCaRhNo-z4ucSvCC4nYtVciLDW49wW8bSw2CqtBeWMzBqe5m0YLF5bAqhTE8Iik/s1600/bonfire.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 298px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnTiAoI__5Vr1ZDbNTnJHTG2EmOzCSTFYDR660BeKZ53mjO74-oLHtFK0ZtL-3zB4YWyMLC-D8Eo5zuCaRhNo-z4ucSvCC4nYtVciLDW49wW8bSw2CqtBeWMzBqe5m0YLF5bAqhTE8Iik/s400/bonfire.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5530665966019378754" /></a><br />That's really more of an inside joke than anything else, so for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, no worries. It isn't relevant to this post at all, just a suggestion one of my friends came up with for what we'll name our racehorse should we ever have one...I just think its HIL-ARIOUS.<br /><br />Anyhorse, I just had the most fantastic weekend EVER. No, really. Ever. Maybe in the whole history of creation. It was <em>that</em> good.<br /><br />I've been wanting to do this for a long time but this weekend I was finally able to take several of my friends home to Kentucky. We rented a mini-van, (because we're just <em>that</em> cool) and roadtripped it all the way up to the Bluegrass for a long weekend. Oh. My. Gosh. I can't tell you the last time I've laughed so much or had so much fun, much less been surrounded by such amazing, beautiful, talented girls.<br /><br />It was the first time in Kentucky for all of them, so I really wanted to not only show them my home and where I grew up, but do whatever I could to give them the ultimate "Kentucky" experience. (Mostly cause I'm a biased snob who is thoroughly convinced there's no greater place in all the world. You can try to tell me differently but well, you're wrong). Holy Hotbrown Batman, we did so many fun things! We did Keeneland. We did a leg of the bourbon trail. We tailgated for the UK football game and stood on the old center court at Rupp Arena. We walked through Triangle Park at dusk, drove through "horse country" in Versailles and Lexington, and ate burgers at my favorite place in the world--Shamrock's. We drove down the Mountain Parkway to Jackson and spent the rest of the weekend riding horses, going to the church I grew up in, and going out on an old strip mine. We gorged ourselves on homemade chili and fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy and biscuits, then sat out under the stars and made s'mores around a bonfire. The girls got to see my highschool, meet my parents, sister, grandmother and cousin, and tour UK's campus where I spent five of the best years of my life to date.<br /><br />Out of all that you know what the best part of the weekend was for me? Aside from just being at home in general, it was the opportunity to share my home with some of the people I've come to be the closest to. It was a chance to finally merge my old life and my new life together; to take a step back and say "This is where I came from, and this is where I am now, and maybe the two don't have to be so far apart at all."Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-90673236573880434232010-10-12T15:39:00.004-05:002010-10-12T16:27:18.411-05:00Family Dinner Night<strong>I think one of the things I miss most about being in a relationship and/or living at home is the sharing of meals. When you spend the first 23 and 1/2 years of your life eating most of your meals with other people...the act of eating alone can feel awfully lonely. I hate that feeling. Loathe it, actually, to the point of refusing to fix food for myself when I'm alone. I love to cook, and I love to sit down to a really good dinner every night, but when it's just me I'm 9 time out of 10 just gonna rock a bowl of cereal hardcore.<br /><br />So a few weeks ago I was talking to some of my friends who all agreed that its much more fun to eat dinner together than alone, but the fact that going out to eat can get a wee bit pricey after awhile...even here in NOLA where you can find good food for cheapy, kinda sorta puts a damper on it. All of a sudden, it dawned on me--just because I'm 1000 miles away from my family and no longer married, doesn't mean there aren't people out there I could eat with. I have fantastic friends who I LOVE spending time with and (BONUS!!) a few of us actually <em>enjoy</em> cooking. That, my friends, is what we call a win-win situation.<br /><br />And thus, Family Dinner Night was born.<br /><br />Family Dinner Night has got to be one of my Top 5 Best Ideas of All Time. SERIOUSLY. I rank this even higher on the scale-o-awesome than the Crossword Puzzle Wall I created in Graduate School. That's saying a lot. But seriously, we've been at it for a little over a month now and Family Dinner Night has quickly become one of the highlights of my week. I look forward to it for days in advance now!<br /><br />There are four of us who participate and we get together one night each week at someone's house for dinner. We've decided to rotate hostess/cooking duties each week so that each of us is essentially responsible for one meal per month...and, oh yeah, its AWESOME. We eat, we laugh, we pray, and we even play board games together, but the best part, the <em>very</em> best part, is when we play High-Low.<br /><br />High-Low is Jonnie's brainchild and its where we go around the table and take turns telling each other about the best part (our high) and the worst part (the low) of our day. It sounds simple, and maybe even silly, for a group of grown women (I'm the youngest and I'm 25) to play a game that Jonnie probably learned when she was 3 or 4, but you have no idea how great it really is. The act of not only sharing food but sharing your life--thoughts and feelings, excitements and fears, with other people is such a wonderful feeling...ahhh. I'm so thankful that I have friends in my life who are as caring as mine.<br /><br />(And now, just to make your mouth water, here are some of the dishes we've created thus far...)</strong><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_hy2-4-QfDqeiWa2fuIor7xroLQ-I7F1WreCppqPjgnrWrVuwuQGTCB796wutu0ZRmcnjzXHbWRhfrotB9fh6r_XEjX9SR3MV8v7EVI_pNzgLS0HZU60HqBtqan_bRmIfa1i6tMumWI4/s1600/ToasterOvenSoleAsparagus_n_lg.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 216px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_hy2-4-QfDqeiWa2fuIor7xroLQ-I7F1WreCppqPjgnrWrVuwuQGTCB796wutu0ZRmcnjzXHbWRhfrotB9fh6r_XEjX9SR3MV8v7EVI_pNzgLS0HZU60HqBtqan_bRmIfa1i6tMumWI4/s400/ToasterOvenSoleAsparagus_n_lg.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527270130177081202" /></a><br />Pan-seared redfish and asparagus<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAmNbrMIiGFL0ozkgtbTg2h1yKMXcTgWUJWA0YYVSCUDjsgIX70-BGOCZH9kCfrREOEii9n4CjNZySeEaWIOjE8RAqr74gw59Yy06WB9iTHsY6RfzZf2Dpj9cTxArwi57BIyTBg7LvOIU/s1600/panini2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 299px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAmNbrMIiGFL0ozkgtbTg2h1yKMXcTgWUJWA0YYVSCUDjsgIX70-BGOCZH9kCfrREOEii9n4CjNZySeEaWIOjE8RAqr74gw59Yy06WB9iTHsY6RfzZf2Dpj9cTxArwi57BIyTBg7LvOIU/s400/panini2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527270120109569394" /></a><br />Turkey and Pesto Paninis<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj26K3x7RYOdbF7-2lzDTEobK5bWYdsy3EjM3gICioFBGPd-dXlFhW0I2yWar9EMU4rrQZ-lrEmoDS5WnmV4nKZN5Epane5wXl5RZNaKguKEhHdnbYt-aeIDjuFA4hBz1QSZ_KYp9KGEOY/s1600/french+onion+soup.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 328px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj26K3x7RYOdbF7-2lzDTEobK5bWYdsy3EjM3gICioFBGPd-dXlFhW0I2yWar9EMU4rrQZ-lrEmoDS5WnmV4nKZN5Epane5wXl5RZNaKguKEhHdnbYt-aeIDjuFA4hBz1QSZ_KYp9KGEOY/s400/french+onion+soup.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527270119956374242" /></a><br />French Onion Soup<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl1HAMqK-WL61AbgIusGsp9dppdEW2CalJCqX_TbEArPQrE7q14eAQFEEKBYYedZf-SFgwxUmnf_z80pt25n6NSdebzSjYQ-iMorgAxqkMXqVAhnYmwQA7Ju0k2wsAE7cp306JJR-ltgs/s1600/lasagna.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl1HAMqK-WL61AbgIusGsp9dppdEW2CalJCqX_TbEArPQrE7q14eAQFEEKBYYedZf-SFgwxUmnf_z80pt25n6NSdebzSjYQ-iMorgAxqkMXqVAhnYmwQA7Ju0k2wsAE7cp306JJR-ltgs/s400/lasagna.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527270113077095250" /></a><br />Lasagna<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeSsJhIx-3E7fYgpmyUkGB7lzEZmQkE8fDZJha36gyKOFKJ_hE6hmKdy6Y2Rn-fzjAmdcrC9ptXtCG6tPCBmqffgUDbehT5P2whc55byCVLp4WYGyNqb2WOq9EAiTQCwExkIDmf1NCSbI/s1600/shepherds_pie.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 263px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeSsJhIx-3E7fYgpmyUkGB7lzEZmQkE8fDZJha36gyKOFKJ_hE6hmKdy6Y2Rn-fzjAmdcrC9ptXtCG6tPCBmqffgUDbehT5P2whc55byCVLp4WYGyNqb2WOq9EAiTQCwExkIDmf1NCSbI/s400/shepherds_pie.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5527270109902873138" /></a><br />Shepherd's PieLaurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-70239182524373722902010-10-05T16:40:00.003-05:002010-10-05T16:44:58.159-05:00The Best Things in LifeSent at 4:23 PM on Tuesday<br /> <strong>me: i am totally gonna cry<br />like happy tears<br /> Jonnie: hahahahahahah, don't do that!<br /> me: happy cry<br /> Jonnie: You're loved. It's totally normal.<br />me: hahaha<br />i am very blessed<br /> Jonnie: aren't we all. </strong><br /><br /><br /><em>(Exert taken from my gChat conversation with my dear friend Jonnie today, after being surprised at work by flowers that she and a couple of my other friends sent. Tell me I'm not the luckiest girl in the world).</em>Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-40799161178633476122010-10-04T14:53:00.008-05:002010-10-04T22:01:03.422-05:00Classy and Fabulous<strong>First let me just say that I freaking LOVE birthdays. Yours, mine, your neighbor's grandson's best friend from second grade...it doesn't matter. Birthdays just make me excited. On October 5 I celebrate the quarter-century mark which is terrifying and exciting and a little depressing all wrapped up in one big, bubbly mess of emotion...but that's really neither here nor there with regard to this post. What is of extreme importance though, is the fact that this year, for the first time in my life, I have very close friends whose birthdays fall one day before and one day after mine. Um...if that doesn't scream joint birthday party, I don't know what does.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgbgNyEq3w_mqLm3Xx_wGz0Mpygn67CdOTRNc_C49SwLexrLxupsF0UO5ktUkDRq-5toNIek1uDFLWwEMdkdiFWEiog8R9oPW5NmMaSDNQVgFxeniSln54g0gSZpWIGVVF32K4p5qRCwU/s1600/DSCN0300.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgbgNyEq3w_mqLm3Xx_wGz0Mpygn67CdOTRNc_C49SwLexrLxupsF0UO5ktUkDRq-5toNIek1uDFLWwEMdkdiFWEiog8R9oPW5NmMaSDNQVgFxeniSln54g0gSZpWIGVVF32K4p5qRCwU/s400/DSCN0300.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524390006742439842" /></a><br /><br />Another friend of ours graciously agreed to host a birthday party for us and let me just say, it was so super wonderful...I cannot thank her and the rest of our friends enough for making the weekend of my 25th birthday such a wonderfully special time. Best night ever! The theme of the party was "Classy and Fabulous," which was derived from the Coco Chanel quote that "A woman should be two things; classy and fabulous." There were cupcakes galore, champagne and balloons, music, dancing, and of course, the best part was spending the night celebrating with some one the most amazing friends anyone could ever ask for.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8ECVyAmW9VoDwwymo2oihYjzTGnyDGrlZMAENhmxt8nOSj6wdL1wGu1G0DcALcMYSOfxYU9HqosMalFzKsqT1rhyphenhyphenJsVDYZoB1wLJIgaUhEf4oXEI8wl0haEXUc-S7ioVhVFl8vuOn8wM/s1600/DSCN0310.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8ECVyAmW9VoDwwymo2oihYjzTGnyDGrlZMAENhmxt8nOSj6wdL1wGu1G0DcALcMYSOfxYU9HqosMalFzKsqT1rhyphenhyphenJsVDYZoB1wLJIgaUhEf4oXEI8wl0haEXUc-S7ioVhVFl8vuOn8wM/s400/DSCN0310.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524390730999405362" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifRg-g12WVWnT3vIbF2URrd4YP_SoVxH1oSV9_POIWc4Jcs3qwBhLNAvh4VZ0p_PQocsA38QMDdr7dHTTEgygAgS6S8stIx11M_7RRuplBCQjh4S_lsOtZYotTiP-o2cYJHLyoQwqdtLU/s1600/DSCN0301.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifRg-g12WVWnT3vIbF2URrd4YP_SoVxH1oSV9_POIWc4Jcs3qwBhLNAvh4VZ0p_PQocsA38QMDdr7dHTTEgygAgS6S8stIx11M_7RRuplBCQjh4S_lsOtZYotTiP-o2cYJHLyoQwqdtLU/s400/DSCN0301.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524390723562543106" /></a><br />This is the first year actually, that I won't be with my family on my actual birthday which at first I was afraid would be a little bit of a downer. But! (Not that I won't miss being with them that day) I feel so incredibly blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful, loving friends that I have absolutely no reason to complain at all.</strong><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6rtwKLHOrw4OAfQ3sm8iqhkaHDOnndEfigKXQ7ElilF1pilWw5ylRWi_AiTacXFAoWh_wt2zQTUyS6YAqT6bF_0wgOrM3MMT4TkinZNwlD3j0n5CYaJFN4-41T-f1jtyn2A7uW6B2JE0/s1600/DSCN0327.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6rtwKLHOrw4OAfQ3sm8iqhkaHDOnndEfigKXQ7ElilF1pilWw5ylRWi_AiTacXFAoWh_wt2zQTUyS6YAqT6bF_0wgOrM3MMT4TkinZNwlD3j0n5CYaJFN4-41T-f1jtyn2A7uW6B2JE0/s400/DSCN0327.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524391224821425170" /></a>Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-41103371375187809042010-10-04T14:10:00.009-05:002010-10-04T18:25:02.206-05:00Holy Awesomeness, Batman!<strong>Jimminy Christmas, where do I start?! It's been a <em>fantastic</em> couple of weeks and by fantastic I mean, well, fantastic. Let's see, where to begin? Let's first back it up to last weekend when I spent three days in the booming metropolis of Alexandria, Louisiana with my great aunt, uncle and cousins to attend the wedding of my cousin, William and his(now)new wife, Kristin. So much fun. I love weddings anyway and theirs was so nice and so beautiful...ahh! I had a great time helping them decorate and prepare, and just getting to spend some time getting to know Kristin a little better too. Oh and eating wedding cake. I never pass up an opportunity to gorge myself on wedding cake. And how gorgeous was she, by the way? PLUS! My mom and Nanny came down for the wedding so on top of meeting and getting to know some of my extended family I'd actually never met, I also got to spend the weekend with them. It was great.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyv9Swlz_YUFy0c24bA00hR84ydHLDBrIkzIk5RPjmXb6myQr7graBo1tMvmhKfcNoUSNo9FkhINTAaQpWoFzSz0g7s_fyzD6hK-Z05TQgemYHhPZ5gjhyphenhyphen87ObkwHFM2a-mHKsuxv006o/s1600/DSCN0275.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyv9Swlz_YUFy0c24bA00hR84ydHLDBrIkzIk5RPjmXb6myQr7graBo1tMvmhKfcNoUSNo9FkhINTAaQpWoFzSz0g7s_fyzD6hK-Z05TQgemYHhPZ5gjhyphenhyphen87ObkwHFM2a-mHKsuxv006o/s400/DSCN0275.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524334756527914962" /></a><br /><br />After the wedding Saturday night Mom and Nanny came back to New Orleans so that they could spend Sunday here in the city with me. I took them to church with me that morning, and then gave them the Lauren version of a driving tour of the city. Nanny hadn't been since Katrina, so there was much that had changed. We wound through Uptown and the Garden District, ventured into the 9th Ward, and finished up in the Quarter, then had lunch at this fantastic little gem of an Italian sandwich shop a few blocks from my house. <br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHmuTlSZSPD1EI_G6KvYTnvoiQf2eG7CPlE5y8lANqNr4KZXvofzb8HYgwcGPwb4Eb8AfuNo_1ipCT4vOnz1zfR6YvVu9AGqTBWtG8ZhVB229-3kuJJRVJgKUWzi_8nmxHMc8w0C9Oc7I/s1600/blog-front.gif"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 370px; height: 234px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHmuTlSZSPD1EI_G6KvYTnvoiQf2eG7CPlE5y8lANqNr4KZXvofzb8HYgwcGPwb4Eb8AfuNo_1ipCT4vOnz1zfR6YvVu9AGqTBWtG8ZhVB229-3kuJJRVJgKUWzi_8nmxHMc8w0C9Oc7I/s400/blog-front.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524279946969603346" /></a><br /><br />After that, we decided that the weekend just wouldn't be complete without a little shopping. I mean, come on. We went in search of a new rug and bookshelf for my apartment and ended up coming home with...dum dum dum...wait for it...LUCY SPARKLE!<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLtYnyqsTVGPFzGGNQPowM2xGWYrY8FKlqHnona3nO4WT1bb1V-rAvr9pKNMIfyMu1nnkS6NCuHf9ms1RL7DIa2JC_gpAYoUpOehauSLvkvXWiy2rNylPCTfwnDTQBpFH42Y1E9CNXO1s/s1600/62761_861211677860_12902579_45527031_6483445_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLtYnyqsTVGPFzGGNQPowM2xGWYrY8FKlqHnona3nO4WT1bb1V-rAvr9pKNMIfyMu1nnkS6NCuHf9ms1RL7DIa2JC_gpAYoUpOehauSLvkvXWiy2rNylPCTfwnDTQBpFH42Y1E9CNXO1s/s400/62761_861211677860_12902579_45527031_6483445_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524335251689098834" /></a><br /><br />That's right, I got a puppy! Ok, so puppy isn't entirely accurate as she's actually seven years old, but whatever...look at that face! The Louisiana SPCA had their traveling shelter at the mall on Sunday and when we went in and I met this one, I pretty much decided I had to take her home. I didn't really have a choice, did I? I've thought about getting a dog for awhile now but had just never taken the time or made the commitment to go look for one, but once I met her, I decided that Lucy was the perfect fit for me. I like to think of her as my birthday present to myself. The shelter was calling her Goldie but I think she's much snazzier than that, so I have since renamed her Lucy. Lucy Sparkle actually! (My sister totally gets credit for the fantastic name). She's now been home with me for a week and (fingers crossed) so far, seems to be adjusting perfectly. She's house trained, very obedient, walks well on the leash and as of yet, hasn't chewed up a single piece of furniture or eaten any of my underwear. I can't really ask for more than that, can I?<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrmZ5eBEkcCM7eqbiCSC6Na33EXoH8v_7_GGLX6lH0r02NhruiCYOyJgmu9Yp9FTmjrFldMr_YBTivnsS3MtGZTOjRt_3bJVVGQGKYu0_AuQCG6zbUOLkh9cC0p9oq4UCoTN2Q3J47Fq0/s1600/DSCN0296.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrmZ5eBEkcCM7eqbiCSC6Na33EXoH8v_7_GGLX6lH0r02NhruiCYOyJgmu9Yp9FTmjrFldMr_YBTivnsS3MtGZTOjRt_3bJVVGQGKYu0_AuQCG6zbUOLkh9cC0p9oq4UCoTN2Q3J47Fq0/s400/DSCN0296.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524335677720066786" /></a><br /><br />Ok so, I was going to try to cram all of my fantastic-ness into one post but I think that would be just a little too extreme for all of us, so I'm going to give you a chance to let this soak in before I hit you with the awesomeness that was my 25th birthday party! Until then...<br /><br />Teddy bears and kisses!</strong>Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-67416862851331084292010-10-04T09:42:00.002-05:002010-10-04T09:43:13.810-05:00Lucky Me<strong>I have many, many things to catch you up on--and I will, (pinkie promise) but for now can I just say that I have THE BEST friends in the whole wide world?</strong>Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-85902321512444705262010-09-23T16:25:00.000-05:002010-09-23T16:26:28.890-05:00Learning<strong><em>“That's what learning is, after all; not whether we lose the game, but how we lose and how we've changed because of it and what we take away from it that we never had before, to apply to other games. Losing, in a curious way, is winning.”</em><br /> Richard Bach</strong>Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-33096642017858067022010-09-23T12:45:00.003-05:002010-09-23T15:42:00.413-05:00I Don't Do Dating<strong>Let's talk about boys for a minute, shall we? Boys and dating and relationships and the utter messiness of it all.<br /><br />Here's the thing; I've never really been into dating. Like casual dating. Like seeing multiple guys at one time, going out on dates with different boys on different nights of the week, getting to know several different men at once, dating. I've just never done that. (Well ok, there was that one time in college where I <em>might</em> have kinda sorta had two boyfriends at once...but it was really unintentional and flat out exhausting and by the end of it I swore I'd never do <em>that</em> again). And anyway, that only lasted a couple days so I don't think it really even counts. I've always been more of a relationship type of girl. Maybe to a fault, but hey, whatever. Literally, since my senior year of high school I've pretty much gone from one "serious" committed relationship to the next, with not a whole lot of time or dating in between.<br /><br />In fact, <em>in fact </em>(and I'm just being real honest with you here--cause why wouldn't I be? Say what you will about this, I really don't care) when I moved out in February, I jumped very quickly into a relationship of sorts with another guy. It was easy to justify to myself because we weren't technically "together," we were just really good friends who were going to have dinner...and then go to a movie...and talk to each other a hundred times a day...and...you get the idea. I told myself that it wasn't a real relationship so it was ok (because even I knew that I needed time to deal with and heal from the marriage and divorce) but in all honesty, it was just another relationship, no matter what name we put on it at the time.<br /><br />For what it's worth, I liked this guy a <em>lot</em>. A whole lot in fact, and my previous failed relationship notwithstanding, I was pretty much willing to jump in with both feet and not look back.<br /><br />Unfortunately, at least for the time being, that relationship hasn't worked out and I've decided that it's best if I start trying to move on. It's not at all what I want to do, but at the same time, I kinda figure life's just too short to waste a whole lot of time on something that isn't working. So...even though in a lot of ways i have absolutely zero desire to do this right now, I've decided that maybe, for the first time, I should give the old dating scene a chance.<br /><br />Blahhhhhhhhhhhhh</strong>Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-22326459308243338172010-09-20T11:50:00.002-05:002010-09-20T12:16:10.614-05:00Fate and Timing and...blahhhhhh<strong>If I'm being perfectly honest with you (and I have no reason not to be), I'm more than a little frustrated these days. It's work, it's my personal relationships... basically, its just life in general and the fact that mine is not exactly on track the way I want it to be or feel like it should be at this point. Then again, I'm not exactly sure what track I want or need to be on right now, so maybe that's part of my problem.<br /><br />I've come to the conclusion in the past couple of months that, as much fun as it's been, New Orleans is likely just not going to be my forever home. There's a lot here to love for sure, but I just don't see Lauren staying here forever. That's not to say I have any idea <em>in the world </em>where it is I want or am supposed to end up, I just get the feeling that this ain't it. So, for the past little while now I've been applying for jobs. Everywhere. No, I'm serious. Everywhere. Since I have no idea where I want to go, what I want to do, and really no ties or obligations to anywhere in particular, I've basically been playing the old "throw everything at the wall and see what sticks," game.<br /><br />Now, seems to me (being the logical person that I am) my complete and utter lack of stipulation on type of job/city I live in, would make it easy to find something. I mean, that makes sense, right? Apparently, not so much because while I've had several interviews, nothing has worked out or fallen into place for me yet. It's more than a little frustrating for me now, but it's also really made me stop to think about <em>why</em> I'm still here in New Orleans.<br /><br />The idea of Fate is, in and of itself, a big and very messy subject to tackle here so I won't do that exactly. But what I will say is that I tend to think that there is a bigger plan than what I will ever know, that everything happens for a reason, and that in the end, things ultimately work out as they are meant to. That said, I have to believe that (all of the heartache of the past year notwithstanding) there was a reason I ended up in New Orleans and by that same token, I have to believe that there is a reason I am still here now. I can look at the past year and point to many, many reasons I think God put me here at this point in my life. I think there were a lot of lessons I needed to learn that I couldn't have learned anywhere else; I think there were a lot of people I needed to have put into my life and I think there are people whose lives I needed to become a part of. But in my mind, I've learned my lessons, I've made my friends, and I've done all I know to do. I'm ready to go. I'm ready to leave. I'm ready for whatever comes next.<br /><br />What I'm starting to realize though, and who knows? Maybe this is the final lesson I need to learn here, is that it's really not so much about what I think I'm ready for. It's much more about the bigger picture and the bigger plan and the totality of life than about what I <em>think</em> I want today. A good friend told me once that "God is far more concerned with our character than our immediate happiness," and I've been trying to remind myself of that lately...while I cool my heels and bang my head against the wall here in New Orleans.<br /><br />So...yeah. I don't know whether I'm still here because I have more to learn, or whether I'm still here because God is using the people in my life to reach me in ways I don't realize, or if maybe he is using me in their lives...I just don't know. But I have to believe that there is some reason behind it all, and I have to believe that when the time is right whatever comes next for me will fall into place and I'll be able to look back on these past few months and be thankful for the extra time I spent in NOLA.</strong>Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-10349553105160173522010-09-13T14:41:00.002-05:002010-09-13T14:54:26.851-05:00Life Lessons from Winnie-the-Pooh<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPwjs23rbQtKQzJc1T3sFLazX21RD2Fnhw1e6uIGxi_-7xnWh1gnqlVRdLdSoPMLO-VNaHd71B5weCNS3Ja6SWy1S3SVSdw3zDxgh-e3UeG6jjPaFUQ96_5UjOa5Aqzk1gm8A5IRQA1hA/s1600/Winnie-The-Pooh.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 334px; height: 347px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPwjs23rbQtKQzJc1T3sFLazX21RD2Fnhw1e6uIGxi_-7xnWh1gnqlVRdLdSoPMLO-VNaHd71B5weCNS3Ja6SWy1S3SVSdw3zDxgh-e3UeG6jjPaFUQ96_5UjOa5Aqzk1gm8A5IRQA1hA/s400/Winnie-The-Pooh.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5516488887857118114" /></a><br /><strong>"You can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn't count.”<br /><br />"Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.”<br /><br />"Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.”<br /><br />“A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.”<br /><br />“You can't always sit in your corner of the forest and wait for people to come to you... you have to go to them sometimes.”</strong>Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-8674261295706568902010-09-13T12:05:00.003-05:002010-09-13T12:35:26.002-05:00Looking at the Stars<strong>“Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars.”<br /><br />Some of you may know this already but I took a few days off last week to go home to Kentucky. Not just to Lexington, which is where I usually end up when I say I'm going home, but <em>home</em> home, to the mountains. I was home for a whole week and it was wonderful. I don't necessarily advocate running from one's problems, but I also know that sometimes, we all just need a break. I needed a break.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg34vTI4QlFPCezgqBjUQAi1nJILE9nPqUyvrjSmcmRSSF6GS4oMn9tAspiNKR0yt810NrzB2d_lCLilbiT68QPK1EwJmTtXhMNp2aod7O3z-rrdzWk0_A_I5XEFsw5lkrKU_rcQhQtWDQ/s1600/mountains.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 261px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg34vTI4QlFPCezgqBjUQAi1nJILE9nPqUyvrjSmcmRSSF6GS4oMn9tAspiNKR0yt810NrzB2d_lCLilbiT68QPK1EwJmTtXhMNp2aod7O3z-rrdzWk0_A_I5XEFsw5lkrKU_rcQhQtWDQ/s400/mountains.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5516452832390704450" /></a><br /><br /><br />So I packed up and hopped a plane to Kentucky, where I spent the week sleeping more than I have in the past six months combined, eating myself senseless on my Mom's home cooking, going for runs in the cool fall weather, and watching the first Kentucky football game of the season too. I also rode my horse for the first time in over a year and even mucked out a stall or two...and believe it or not, I actually enjoyed it. Sometimes I think, good, honest, physical labor is good for the soul.<br /><br />While I was walking from the barn back to the house one night, I happened to glance up and notice how bright the stars were. It was amazing. You can't even see the stars at night in New Orleans so I don't remember the last time I just stopped and stood with my head hanging back, and took in the beauty of the night sky. Our preacher even commented on it Sunday at church, about how he was out that same night and couldn't remember a time in his life when he had seen the stars shining so brightly.</strong>Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4917903860105350987.post-51074830666406878012010-09-08T13:14:00.001-05:002010-09-08T13:16:11.928-05:00Crossing the BarBy: Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809–1892) <br /> <br /> <br /><strong>SUNSET and evening star, <br /> And one clear call for me! <br />And may there be no moaning of the bar, <br /> When I put out to sea, <br /> <br />But such a tide as moving seems asleep, <br /> Too full for sound and foam, <br />When that which drew from out the boundless deep <br /> Turns again home. <br /> <br />Twilight and evening bell, <br /> And after that the dark! <br />And may there be no sadness of farewell, <br /> When I embark; <br /> <br />For tho’ from out our bourne of Time and Place <br /> The flood may bear me far, <br />I hope to see my Pilot face to face <br /> When I have crossed the bar. <br /> <br /> </strong><br /><br /><em>This poem was read last week at my great grandmother's funeral. She was quite an amazing lady and would have been 103 on her birthday in October.</em>Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07002205229644300829noreply@blogger.com0